Bittersweet..

So, Its happening... I am definitely moving back to RI.

I'm in RI now helping my family out with a few things, but I'm going back tomorrow morning and will start to pack.

I'm not entirely sure when the full move will take place, but it will probablly happen sometime within the next couple of weeks. This is bittersweet. I mean, I'm happy that I will be closer to my family and be able to see the people I adore whenever I want, plus be able to save up on some money and get myself in a good place. On the same token, I'm really really really sad to be leaving some absolutely amazing people. I just keep telling myself that this is the smart move. It's hard though.

I guess time will tell.

I WILL get the last laugh...

So, my wonderful former employer has found a way to screw me YET again...

Man, when that little vixen planned this one, I bet she didn't expect to work out this well... kudos.

I was promised when I left that building that day that they would not fight my unemployment. Everyone WHO MATTERS knows that I was set up and therefore was not going to make this any harder on me by fighting unemployment.

Then the she-devil the Store Manager came along. That bitch has had it out for me ever since I started to be open about the lack of work my former boss, not Jackie, did. So, I get a call yesterday from one of the MANY friends I still have left in that building to let me know that they are indeed fighting my unemployment. Because the she-devil is making them. Fuckers.

So, I contemplated it for a while. Do I just admit defeat and move away without saying anything, or do I go back and fight for my rights as well. Given that I am a lesbian, who on a daily basis gets stripped of her given rights by an asshole that sits up in that oval office simply because of who I love, I figured that I wouldn't let it happen to me where I do have a say in it.

I woke up this morning and decided to fight with all I've got. See, what people are not taking into consideration is that you forced me out of a department that I know like the back of my hand. The best way to learn how to do something... is to learn how to NOT do something. I spent two years watching that company NOT allow people to collect unemployment... don't you think that after 2 years, I would have pretty much learned what I need to do in order TO collect unemployment? Yup! I do...

So, now, I just sit and wait for the hearing and then you better believe I will go in with GUNS BLAZING and I WILL get the last laugh... just as everyone else before me has.

When in doubt... turn to good ol' Melissa Etheridge...


I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place
I have held the winter's son
Become one
Set my pace
Isn't that what we wanted all along
Freedom like a stone
But I can say goodbye
Now that the passion's died
Still it comes so slow
The letting go

Piece by piece I take apart
This complicated heart
And I hope to find
Something I can prove is real
I can feel is truth
I can say is mine
That's all I ever wanted to be
The closer that I got
The further I could see
But when lovers change
And the night feels strange
We choose our road
The letting go

I came here to let you know
The letting go
Has taken place

I'm done...

All those people that have been trying to get rid of me for a while now...

Well, you've succeeded. I've decided tonight that I am definitely moving back home to RI.

Yes, I will leave behind amazing friends... friends that have truly come to be like family to me, but its time for me to close this chapter of my life... leave behind all the heartache and sadness that I've experienced here... and start a new chapter at home, with my family... watch my Godson grow up... be more of a part of Evan's life... be there more for my family the way they want me to be.

For those of you who don't want me to leave... don't you worry... I'm only a phone call and a mere 2 hour drive. Trust me.. its not that bad.

I will keep you posted as I get more details.

What's been on my mind???

So, what's the main that has been going through my head over the past couple of days?

Should I move back to RI or not?

I just don't know...

We'll see...

Hello all...

After an excrutiating day yesterday... I find myself with a new found strength today.

I am going to meet with a headhunter today in Stamford for a possible opportunity. Keep your fingers crossed. I'm leaving in just a tiny bit. Hopefully it will go better than the one I had yesterday.

On the school front, I am OFFICIALLY registered for my final credit... which means that come January, I will have a nice pretty big diploma to put up next the other one on the fireplace mantle! WOO HOO!!! I'm just waiting to hear from my sponsoring faculty member to get this ball rolling, but its good to know that my proposal was accepted and I'm well on my way.

I will keep you posted about this appointment. I'm off for a nice drive on a BEAUTIFUL DAY! (too bad I have nasty cramps.... :-( ouchy)

Later kiddies!

I thought today was going to be the first truly "good" day in a long time. I thought things were going so right... and then once again, life decided that things were too right... and threw me a curve ball once again... I'm so tired of having these days... when is it going to get better? When will I find my bend in the road? I am so ready.

Positive Steps

I'm trying to make the most out what I do have right now, which isn't much.

I just finished my proposal for my Independent Study. I'm applying for my last credit this semester. With any luck, in December, I will officially have a Masters degree from NYU.

I am going into the city tomorrow to hand my proposal in... WISH ME LUCK!

So, I thought I would do a post that is a little more than one line to update everyone as to the events over the past couple of days.

Emotionally, I'm hanging in there. I have good days and bad days. Then there are those days which I think are going well and then I hit a major slump. I just miss so many small things about the store. This is the second biggest loss I've ever had to experience. The first was my pepere years back.

On the job front... I have been in contact with two headhunters. One I contacted and the other my former boss contacted for me. It was kind of cool to get a randon phone call and hear, "I got your name from Jackie DeChamps and she told me that you would be absolutely perfect for a job I have." Then Jackie called me yesterday to check up on me and told me what this job would be paying... all I have to say is BOOYAH! So... I dont know if either of those prospects will lead to anything. It's pretty much just a waiting game right now.

Amaretto has been so incredibly fabulous. She is so sensitive to emotion and knows when to be affectionate and when to leave me alone. I don't know where I would be without her.

Finally, last night was great. I went and saw some old friends. It was nice to sit around and laugh at very old jokes. My night actually got better when I left though. I left the apartment and was walking to my car when I ran into this guy Roque that works at IKEA. He insisted on buying me a beer and I oblidged. We then had a really really good talk. He told me how I was the only HR person he liked, especially after I helped him out with a small situation a few weeks ago and how upset he was when he found out I left. It made me feel good.

Then I came home and passed out with my little pumpkin curled into my arm.

So that's it. Right now... I'm doing ok. We'll see what the rest of the day brings. Thank you all for your kind words and outpouring of support. It is appreciated more than I could ever put into words.

I'm going to be ok...

Reconnecting with old friends is amazing.

when will I learn...

Why do things still surprise me?!

THIS IS ME LIVID... like it?

great...

And on top of everything that's going on right now... you think it can't get worse...

yeah now i'm getting sick. effing great.

...

I cried myself to sleep last night.

I feel so empty.

*sigh*

My life is over....

And to know its because of someone that I truly cared about.... that kills me.

Serenity...

I just took a ride down towards Morris Cove and ended up going to Lighthouse Park. In all the years that I have been living in New Haven, I have never been there. Oh my gosh, its absolutely beautiful. There are tons of places like that in RI and I didn't think there was anything like that around here. I was wrong. I walked around and sit there looking out at the sound and just felt complete serenity. There's something so amazing and so lathargic about looking at something that covers 90% of the world. I couldn't help but sit there and think "this is why I love the east coast."

That's it for now. I'm going to go have some dinner now. Have a good night.

See this torch??

See this torch? By December... I WILL be getting it as a tattoo. September 18th, I will be in the city getting my approvals and registering for my last credit and then it will be official that I, ME, SARAH SEWARD will have a Masters from New York University.

NYU_TORCH_TEXT Originally uploaded by sarahsew.

My Boys!!!

I spent the most glorious couple of hours with the men in my life this morning...

Here were some pictures that were waiting for me when I got home.



Evan and Brendan watching Elmo!



Brendan laughing his little butt off!!!