Lemons SUCK
So, I went out to dinner last night with my wonderful girlfriend for her birthday. We both ordered our respective adult beverages along with waters... the waitress brings them back with lemon in them of course... riddle me this, WHY MUST THEY PUT LEMON IN EVERYTHING NOW??
I personally HAAATTEEEE lemons in my water, in my diet soft drinks, in pretty much everything. Don't assume I want lemon in my water, just because its the 21st century and its "just the thing to do now" when you order a water, it should be standard, just as standard as "would you like fries with that" to ask "would you like lemon with that" after all... you're not far off from a drive through window...
So in honor of all those food service professionals who mistakenly ASSUME that everyone wants lemon in their water, I altered a nice little tune for you...
Just as karaoke would present it:
In the style of "Bring Me Some Water" by Melissa Etheridge:
Tonight I need a drink
But there’s nothing much in here
I turn the other cheek
And I taste the slap and the sting of the lemon in there
And I know you only serve us
But I haven’t got patience no
So tonight while you make your excuses
Somebody else is better off, I know
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m thirsty as hell
Can’t you see this lemon is floating inside
Water without lemon would be really swell
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see its out of control
Lemons all in this, and lemons all in that
But tonight that old lemon, old lemon’s got to go
When will this bitter taste pass
When will this gross be through
I want to break a glass
I only taste that juice in here with my cube
And I do anything to get it out of my mind
I need some lack of taste, that temporary kind
Tell me when will it ever, ever go away
When everyone insists its better that way??!!
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m thirsty as hell
Can’t you see this lemon is floating inside
Water without lemon would be really swell
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see its out of control
Lemons all in this, and lemons all in that
But tonight that old lemon, old lemon’s got to go
OLD LEMON’S GOT TO GO
I personally HAAATTEEEE lemons in my water, in my diet soft drinks, in pretty much everything. Don't assume I want lemon in my water, just because its the 21st century and its "just the thing to do now" when you order a water, it should be standard, just as standard as "would you like fries with that" to ask "would you like lemon with that" after all... you're not far off from a drive through window...
So in honor of all those food service professionals who mistakenly ASSUME that everyone wants lemon in their water, I altered a nice little tune for you...
Just as karaoke would present it:
In the style of "Bring Me Some Water" by Melissa Etheridge:
Tonight I need a drink
But there’s nothing much in here
I turn the other cheek
And I taste the slap and the sting of the lemon in there
And I know you only serve us
But I haven’t got patience no
So tonight while you make your excuses
Somebody else is better off, I know
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m thirsty as hell
Can’t you see this lemon is floating inside
Water without lemon would be really swell
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see its out of control
Lemons all in this, and lemons all in that
But tonight that old lemon, old lemon’s got to go
When will this bitter taste pass
When will this gross be through
I want to break a glass
I only taste that juice in here with my cube
And I do anything to get it out of my mind
I need some lack of taste, that temporary kind
Tell me when will it ever, ever go away
When everyone insists its better that way??!!
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see I’m thirsty as hell
Can’t you see this lemon is floating inside
Water without lemon would be really swell
Somebody bring me some water
Can’t you see its out of control
Lemons all in this, and lemons all in that
But tonight that old lemon, old lemon’s got to go
OLD LEMON’S GOT TO GO
posted by Sarah @ 11:13 AM
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